


The Monster Behind Emerald Eyes

by Vivian_Laufeyson



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Loki Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-04
Updated: 2015-03-03
Packaged: 2018-01-21 22:55:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1567037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vivian_Laufeyson/pseuds/Vivian_Laufeyson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being the daughter of a nobleman who happens to be an old family friend to the monarchy of Asgard has certain perks, one of which is schooling and growing up with the two princes, Thor and Loki. Having been friends from before the cradle you knew Loki was hiding a secret. A closely guarded secret. What happens when you accidentally stumble upon the truth of raven haired prince's identity?</p><p>A pre-Thor AU where Loki's known his true heritage since young childhood.</p><p>The teen and up is just a guess. As this is my first story, I don't quite know how to correctly rate things yet, so just to be on the safe side.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Secret Horror

You walked down the familiar halls, taking in every sight, wondrous as they were, although you had seen them your entire life. Your family was well known in Asgard, and you had spent much of your childhood studying with the princes. Thor had always been foolhardy, hardly ever considering what he was saying, and how it would affect those around him. But this, this was going too far. Loki had a very close secret, one that he shared with no one, not even with you or Thor. You could not blame him though, Thor would yell Loki's preciously kept secret to all the 9 realms without a second thought.  
Thor knew of his secret, and how he valued it so, and attempted to pressure Loki into divulging it in front of everyone. As Thor forced Loki to back into a wall in an attempt to hide, you watched, fearing to do anything. You feared the brothers' anger, although they were your closest and oldest friends. To intervene would quite possibly evoke the Thunder God's anger. You watched as Loki's eyes brimmed with tears, carefully keeping them in check so that they wouldn't spill over in front of his pompous brother. In a moment, between blinks, Loki had disappeared! You silently laughed to yourself, as Thor's eyes fumed with anger and confusion, obviously not knowing where his brother had gone. You, of course, knew, as you had always been closer to the raven-haired prince.  
The anger at Thor welled up inside of you, threatening to blow at the next person you saw. You had to remind yourself that you were going to Loki. The anger would not ease the tensions, and would only make his problems worse. As you reached the end of a passageway, you glanced around to make sure that there would be no one watching. As you both were skilled in the art of seidr, the magical force that flowed through all bodies, you had created a magical door to a secret room that had not been used for years, save your's and Loki's hiding from the rest of the palace. With a flick of your wrist, the door appeared, and after you had closed it upon your entry, it disappeared once again.  
It was so cold and dark in here. Usually Loki would at least light a small fire. With a snap of your fingers a small light flitted across the room. It wasn't much, but enough that you could walk without stumbling.  
"Loki? Loki, I know you're in here somewhere!"  
Then the thought occurred to you. You were shivering. It was cold! You had noticed it before, but hadn't given it any thought. It was so warm and idyllic outside, a perfect paradise, but in here there was a bitter cold. It snapped at your fingers, nearly turning them blue with cold. You quickly breathed over them, restoring them to proper coloration. You hoped that Loki had something keeping him warm in here. You called again,  
"Loki! Where are you? It's just me! No one followed me here. Please come out..."  
You finally heard a response coming from the shadows, forced out through sobs.  
"I had hoped that you wouldn't follow me here. I suppose it was foolish to come to a place that you knew I'd be... just leave me be (y/n), please."  
"Why? I came here to talk to you Loki. I fully intend of completing that goal."  
You heard him speak again, the tears gone, and his voice hollow and flat.  
"Congratulations. You've talked to me. Leave me. Now."  
"No. I'm not going."  
"LEAVE ME!"  
His voice was forceful and full of emotion. It shook the roof above your head, and you flinched in fear. You saw a small smile come from his face in the shadow. It was not a smile of happiness, nor contentment, but as if he was affirming something to himself. He muttered something unintelligible, but then whispered something that you could barely make out.  
"So I was right. I am a monster...."  
"What in the Nine Realms do you mean, 'I'm a monster'!"  
"Ahhh, my loyal friend. Always protecting me, whether she realises what she's defending or not..." You easily found the hints of sarcasm in his voice  
"I know quite well what I'm defending Loki! I'm defending you from, well, you..." Your voice was laced with confusion and anger. How could he think that he was a monster! He was as normal as the rest of the Aesir, well mostly. His innate gift of seidr was rare among the men, but he was one of the best in Asgard, his skills envied by the lesser informed. But his behaviour here was unthinkable. Loki, your best friend from childhood was no monster.  
"Why won't you come out of the shadows, Loki? Why are you hiding from me?"  
"You know my answer."  
"YOU'RE NOT A MONSTER!!! JUST COME OUT ALREADY!" Now it was your turn to shake the roof. A long sigh fell from his lips as he granted your wish and stepped out of the shadows into the small light that was illuminating the room. A straight face stared at yours, as you gazed with wonder at him. His voice was as cool as the air in room, and he spoke placidly.  
"Now do you see (y/n) (l/n)! I AM a monster! Cower and fear the real me. No mask to protect you now!"  
"Wha- Loki? You're a- a- Jotunn?" Your voice was filled with disbelief. You couldn't take it all in. Your best friend, your Loki, he was a Frost Giant. No! The Frost Giants were horrid monsters. They were cruel, vicious, with no regard for life. How could he- his voice interrupted your thoughts.  
"It makes sense now, doesn't it? All those years, you never understood. You will NEVER understand!" His words were spat with venom. You knew he was right, you could never understand. You would never know what it was like to be the outcast, you just couldn't even if you tried. Your eyes stung, and a lump was caught in your throat. The tears that were brimming on the edge of your eyes were screaming to break free, but you fought them with all your might. If you cried in front of Loki, especially like this, he would have won. He would have claimed that he was right. You fell onto the ground and put your head in your hands as you stopped fighting the tears. You just couldn't hold it back anymore. After what seemed like a forever, you looked up, with obvious tears stains on your face. Loki's face remained unchanged, the same cold face as before, his teeth gritted and skin blue. But as you looked at him there was something different that you couldn't place.  
"So I was right. Not even my closest "friend" can stand before me now. But then again, why would a monster like me need any friends. None of you care anyway."  
There was a smirk across his face, and a dark expression behind it. The sadness that weighed heavily upon your chest felt as if Mjolnir itself layed on you. But added to the pain was a newfound anger. You looked up and stared into Loki's eyes. You stepped towards him, without breaking your gaze. A look of surprise shone in his eyes, and it just as quickly disappeared. As you stepped towards him again, you slowly raised your hand. Loki visibly stiffened at what he thought was coming. Thor, as well as Frigga, had tried the same thing. The tender touch of their hand was supposed to soothe him, and he expected the same from you. You, however had something very different in mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, thanks for reading!   
> I know what the end sounds like, but I don't do any of that! This is a language free, no smut story. If that's what you're looking for, just know you won't find it here. Sorry, but I felt this was necessary.   
> Again, thanks for reading!


	2. Nobody Could Care For A Monster

Your frustration and anger at the God of Mischief had become unbearable, and you had struck his cheek. The skin that was an uniform blue now had a flesh coloured hand mark. Loki's eyes widened in surprise as he tenderly touched his left cheek. It stung and he felt a heat rush run across his face. You watched, barely inches away from him, as a wave of content washed over you. You stared at his blood red eyes as he raised his hand as if to strike you back. You stood there, unflinching, a cross look was riddled among your features.

"Loki Odinson! How dare you speak of yourself or your loyal companions this way! We have been by your side every day from the beginning!" A sigh escaped his lips as he rubbed his forehead as if you were a stupid child.

" Loyal. None of you have ever been loyal. Always choosing Thor over me. Of course, he was always the obvious choice. Who couldn't fall for that "darling" smile of his. And you can't forget his golden locks. As well as that ever impressive strength. Everyone desired Thor! Who cared about the brother who stood by his side every day? Nobody! Who ever cared about the prince who could not best all the rest in battle? Nobody! Who could care for the monster behind emerald eyes...." The pain, as well as the obvious disgust, in his voice cut you deeply, much farther than any of his previous accusations had. You tried as hard as you could to hide it, not allowing it to show. Your stance of power and authority quickly faded as you took a single step away from him. You were very careful not to show any emotion, as your action could very well been taken as a show of fear, which he was very desperately searching for. Your masquerade of indifference was becoming exponentially harder to upkeep as thought after thought flowed through your mind. How could he POSSIBLY think that you favoured Thor. Although your friendship with both brothers was thicker than blood, you had always preferred the quiet, peaceful company of Loki to the rambunctious spontaneity of Thor. You cared little for appearances, much to the dismay of your parents, who for years had tried to make you a fair maiden worthy of the attention of nobles across all the realms, only to have their efforts crushed to find you climbing up a tree or swimming in a nearby lake with the princes. As for besting the others in battle, you found the fighting repulsive, as necessary as it was. After your contemplation had ended, you realized that you and Loki had been staring at each other for what seemed like hours. You blushed as you whispered your answer.

"Me... I care."

Those three simple words had an impact on him like you had never seen before. The mix of shock, confusion, and anger, combined with his previous pain and loathing was nearly too much to bear. You watched with worry as his eyes searched the room frantically. You suddenly remembered, this was his safe haven, the room where nothing could touch him. Those three words had brought the security of his barriers crumbling down. Everything he had thought about you, about his situation was wrong, and you had reached inside of his deepest emotions and stabbed them, making them raw and resurfaced.

"How?! Do you see me? I'm a - a monster! I'm a Frost Giant from Jotunnheim! My people have terrorized Asgard for millenia! Why- why don't you scream in fear? Why don't you run away like everybody else?! I should be all alone, like the beast that I am." "What does that matter? You don't have to be alone anymore, Loki." "But, I- I'm the monster that parents tell their children about at night! My true father left me to DIE in the cold as an infant, and that man you all call King and Father took me to Asgard as a bargaining chip! I am no more than a peace treaty between the two realms!" His jaw was trembling, and his cheeks were stained with tears. The fear was his not yours. You furrowed your eyebrows in worry and pain. You looked at his face once again, and the mark that you left on his face earlier was gone. Cold no longer emanated from his Jotunn in the room, as he slowly transformed back into his Aesir form.

His head was in his hands, as he sank to the floor, his whole body was shaking with his ragged breathing. You walked over to the corner in which the raven prince's slender form was curled into a ball, his head now in his hands as well as between his legs. You sighed heavily, in all your years of knowing Loki, he had never broken in front of you quite like this before. You didn't wish to evoke his anger again, so you tried the most innocent thing you could think of. You carefully sat down next to the weeping prince and gently put your arms around his shoulders. He tensed up at this gesture, and you froze for a second. Realizing it meant nothing, you pulled him closer to you and positioned him to where you could lay his head upon your shoulders. Your arms shifted to his back and head, nearly cradling as you would an infant. As you rocked him back and forth, you sang the lullaby which you remembered Lady Frigga singing to the princes in centuries past before they slept. It enchanted you then, and you learned it as soon as possible. You slowly hummed the chorus that you had heard so many times before, took a deep breath then began singing to the crying prince taking solace in your arms.

_Lay down your head and I'll sing you a lullaby_   
_Back to the years of loo-li-lai-lay_   
_And I'll sing you to sleep, and I'll sing you tomorrow_   
_Bless you with love for the road that you go._

After the first verse, the song seemed to have the effect you were looking for. Loki's tension visibly relaxed, and his near hyperventilation had ceased. The weeping still remained, but ever so barely, and begun to rest more upon your shoulder than the wall. You continued the song as if nothing was different.

 

_May you sail far the far fields of fortune_   
_With diamonds and pearls at you head and your feet_   
_And may you never need to banish misfortune_   
_May you find kindness in all that you meet_

_May there always be angels to watch over you_   
_To guide you each step of the way_   
_To guard you and keep you safe from all harm_   
_Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay ......_

 

You looked down at Loki after finishing the song, and you realized that he had fallen asleep while in your arms. You could feel the crimson that was now across your face. This was a situation that you were glad no one saw, but still, it sent a warm sensation in your abdomen. The hand that cradled his head layed it down into the crook of your other arm as the first one lifted away. You gently wiped off the tears that stained his face and a small smile broke out on his lips. You looked at him as a mother might a child, a feeling of serenity soothing your mind and body, putting all previous stress from the evening at rest. He looked so peaceful and content. You decided he couldn't sleep here, he needed a proper bed, so you thought of how to sneak the sleeping prince past the guards without arousing their concern. Then the thought crossed your mind as you remembered the days long ago when you would play till you passed out upon the floor, only to wake up in your bedroom. You would preform a bit of maternal "magic".

Summoning some of your seidr, although you were not completely well trained in the magics, you attempted a teleportation spell. You only knew what little Loki what taught you before, although you were well gifted, and it took much effort to hold him and cast a spell at the same time, but you managed after four failed attempts. Arriving in the prince's bedroom, you blushed even further. This was not a room you wished to visit in this manner, but as long as no one saw you could manage the strength to pull it off. You silently walked over to Loki's bed and layed him down as if he were the most precious and fragile thing in all of Asgard. A wave of your hand over his body and his armor changed into a green tunic and black pants, a spell you had picked up rather quickly. As you pulled his luxuriously soft blanket over him, you bent over and chastely kissed his cool, pale forehead. You ran your fingers through his tightly combed hair to loosen it, and whispered "Good night, my raven prince. Sleep well and long, for as Heimdall is my witness, you will never be alone again." You rose and with a great concentration, teleported yourself to your own comfortable bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Thanks for reading my story!  
> For anyone who wants to know, the lullaby that you sing to Loki is Sleepsong by Saoirse!


	3. Why?

Your bedroom wasn't as extravagant as the prince's, but at the same time, you didn't want it to be. Between the jewels and the metal, as well as the fancy furniture, you didn't know how they lived in there. It wasn't comfortable at all! Your old worn out chair was soft, and you sank every time you sat in it. Your bed was plain, unmade, with a simple brown blanket on it, but it was more than you needed. No, you weren't poor by any means, and you could very easily have a room similar to Loki's if you wished. You just liked it better that way.  
You kicked off your shoes as you took a deep breath. The smell of your miniature library that was end to end bookcases on your walls was better than the smell of any feast, or the stores that most of the maidens your age commonly spent their time in. You brushed your fingers over the old leather spines of some of your favourites, giving them the attention you feared that they missed. Your studies had become so consuming, between your traditional studies, and your private magic lessons with Loki.  
You yawned deeply, rubbing your eyes with your fists as a child might and collapsed upon your chair. You realized for the first time that night just how tired you were. With a tired sweep of your hand over your body, your formal dress and robe transformed into a fluffy sleeping gown. You nodded, approving of your subconcious' choice. You staggered over to your bed and layed down. You were asleep before your head hit the pillow.  
That night, you had no restful sleep. Rather, you dreamt of Loki and his news to you. Your dreams were filled with terror as you watched Jotunns invade Asgard, searching for the princes all the while, only to find Loki on the opposing side, killing your brethren. You screamed for him to stop, to come join you and find somewhere safe. He would walk towards you, as if to comply with your wishes, but thrust a dagger into your side as soon as you looked away. When you would ask him why in your dying moments, his eyes sparkled with murderous rage and he would only laugh, before yanking the dagger out of your side and thrusting it into your heart. The nightmare was on constant repeat, restarting as soon as it finished.  
You awoke in a cold sweat, your throat hoarse as if you had been screaming for hours, which you might have been. Your eyes burned and your face and pillow were soaked. Every inch of you was trembling, but what had woken you? Surely it wasn't the dream, for you had been locked in it the entire night. You carefully stood and opened your window. It was late into the morning, that was had woken you, the day. You sighed in relief as you looked over the city, the view from your window never ceased to amaze you, but today was unlike no other. To see your beautiful city after last night was a blessing, and you silently thanked the gods.  
Your stomach yelled at you as you walked down the halls to the court. Surely you had already missed breakfast, but maybe it wasn't to late to catch something to eat. You cursed as you fixed your chestplate once again. It was far too big for you, but it was the only one you could get. You were tinier than most Asgardian women. Today was jousting practice with Thor, and you would need every ounce of protection that you could get, and every ounce of strength. You walked through the court doors, and expected to see nothing, but to your surprise there was the entire royal family, midmeal. Apparently, it wasn't as late as you thought. All eyes were drawn to you as you interrupted their feast. Lady Frigga was the first to speak up as usual.  
"Come dear, sit down and eat." She motioned to an indented curve on the bench, meant as a seating position. You gracefully walked over to the seat and sat down. You began fixing a plate as Thor began talking.  
"You slept late, (y/n)! We waited as long as we could for you, but our hunger spoke too loudly, forgive us, and feast!" It was clear from his near vacant expression, that he had been drinking last night. You made an executive decision to ignore him from then on during breakfast. You tried not to stuff your face as quickly as like Thor was, and you tried to look graceful, poised and ladylike as the Queen did, but to no avail. You just ate. You were neither graceful, nor messy, just hungry.  
As you were eating you accidently bumped whoever was sitting next to you. You paused and said, "I'm sorry. I'm a bit clumsy today." The person next to you spoke and said, "You need not apologize. I am a bit tired still." You recognized the voice very well, and you knew it could only be one person. You felt your face grow hot and you blushed. You managed to look over at Loki and you gave a soft, sympathetic smile. He looked at you with a face that said, 'we need to talk' all over it, and you had a feeling you knew what about.  
After breakfast, you were sitting in the arena waiting for Thor. He was supposed to teach you swordplay and jousting today, but with him being slightly inebriated, you didn't know how well that was going to work out. You saw someone step through the door and you stood while readying your sword. You calmed and resheathed your blade when you saw who it was.  
"Do you care to explain what happened last night?"  
"What do you mean?" His calm voice worried you. He was never this calm unless he was actually calm, which you doubted, or really upset.  
"You know what I'm talking about. Don't deny it. One moment I'm on the floor crying because of you, and the next you're on the floor with me holding me in a tight embrace." You felt flushed, and your body went cold.  
"Ahhh, that. Well you see-" You were cut off by him continuing his thought.  
"After that, you're singing my mother's song! Why were you singing that? Why of all songs, that! Then I wake up in my own bed the next day. What did you do to me?"  
"Why don't we go somewhere else to talk about this? We're attracting a bit of a crowd." That much was true. People had heard Loki's shouting and come to see what was wrong. With a flick of your wrist you both suddenly appeared in your study, the small room detached from your bedroom. You knew that this transportation might make Loki even more upset at you, but that was a risk worth taking. If he kept that up in the arena, then he might have accidentally blown his secret, and whether he was going to recognize it or not, you were doing him a favor. You turned around and took a seat in one of your chairs, and you bid Loki to do the same. He followed suit, and took his place directly in front of you.  
"Why did you move us?"  
"Because this is a conversation between the two of us, not for the rest of the nine realms." He scowled at the indifference in your voice, as you spoke plainly and simply. "Now to begin answering your questions... last night after you had broken down on the floor sobbing, I couldn't stand it, watching you cry that is. I didn't want to make any moves that could be wrongly mistaken, so I tried the most innocent that I could think of on the spot, I sat down and I hugged you, just like I used to when we were little. Like after you would get in trouble with Odin, or you got hurt." He was still suspicious, but seemed to relax at the mention of childhood memories. Then he tensed up again as he had obviously thought elsewhere.  
"What about the singing? Only the Queen knows that song, and she never sings it anymore."  
You sighed, this wasn't how you wished for this all to go. He was all too curious and couldn't leave a good deed unpunished. You decided to answer his worried questioning. "I learned when I was young from your mother. She taught me it, since I was so deeply enchanted by the song. As for why, it seemed to calm you down and put you at rest whenever she sang it, so it seemed the best bet."  
"What abou-" You cut him off this time. You weren't finished.  
"As for waking up in your own bed, you fell asleep midway through the song in my arms." It was his turn to blush, and you smiled at seeing how that sentence affected him so quickly. "I figured I couldn't just leave you there, so I cast a transportation spell and tucked you into bed."  
"I woke up in a sleeping robe.... you didn't-" His eyes shot wide with horror, and your's did as well. You gasped out the words trying to reclaim your breath.  
"Of course not! I would never- I- I used magic! Just because I sang to you doesn't mean that I would-" You stopped there in mortification. How could he have asked such a question?! When you calmed down from the question, you tried to explain further. The words poured from you mouth like a fountain, but few were whole, and none formed full thoughts. Your face was as hot as if were engulfed in flames, and you felt as if your normally silver tongue had become lead. You quickly hushed as you felt his lips press soundly against yours, and before you could realise what was happening, he pulled away as fast as he had come. You watched as he stood from his chair, and walked a few steps away. He looked you straight in the eyes, his gaze penetrating your very soul, and said, "Thank you" and teleported away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun DUN! Loki's just kissed you! How do you feel about that? I know that these three came out in super-speed, but I already had them written. I could end the story here, but will I?


	4. Did That Really Just Happen? Part 1 (Reader)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry readers! This chapter did NOT want to come out! Stubborn little thing. Hope you enjoy, this is mostly meant for a good laugh with a bit of thought in there.

You sat there for a second, dazed, trying to process what had just happened. As far as you remembered, you were talking to Loki, and then he had just disappeared. Not like it was the first time he had done that, but still. Gosh, what HAD happened. You felt all warm and fuzzy, which was an odd feeling for you. You thought back, analyzing the events.   
You remembered transporting him into his room, and laying him in bed. After that you went to your own room and then... and then what?... you remember an arguement. Him yelling at you, and you moving the two of you for the 3rd time. You remember more yelling, and him standing. He walked over to you... then something rather distracting happened. WOAH! The realisation suddenly hit you, He walked over to you, and kissed you! Loki kissed you! It was the moment you had been dreaming of, even though you were best friends.   
Was it wrong that you felt this way? Your mind raced as you argued with your own head, not even stopping to consider how childish what you were doing really was.  
"Ohmygosh, he kissed me...."  
'So what! It's not like it could have really meant anything anyway.'  
"And why not! I mean, he's the one who kissed ME! Not the other way around..."  
'And how much older than him are you?'  
"Only about 100 years older!"  
'My point made.'  
"You haven't made any point! We live for 5000 years!"  
'You grew up with him, you daft thing!'  
"You are aware that you just insulted yourself, right?"  
'Not the point! You grew up with him, and him with you! You're practically his older sister!'  
"But I'm not. I'm just a nobleman's daughter. He's a freakin' prince!"  
'There's another thing! Do you really think, even if you are right, what makes you think that a prince would even be allowed to fall in love with someone like you!'  
"I guess there's a bit of logic to that... and I guess I am his older sister, sort of... but still, what if you're wrong?"  
'I highly doubt it. I'm almost never wrong. You know that better than anybody. Besides, who says that the kiss was anything more than a "thank you m'lady" little prize for putting up with him.'  
"Have you forgotten what in world he just went through! He just accidentally showed me that he's not even part of the royal family, not really. He's Jotunn. He's one of the Frost Giants, if you recall. That's got to count for something...."  
'Of course I didn't forget. And what difference does it make? That was nearly traumatic for us, I'm not likely to forget anytime soon.'  
"He expected me to run in fear, but I stayed. That has to make a least a little bit of a difference. Although, I'm not sure why he thought I'd treat any different now that I know he's Jotunn. I mean, I've known him his entire life, why should that make any difference at all!"  
'I don't know. And no, I'm not repeating that. But, yeah, I agree. There's no reason to treat him any different, at ALL.'  
"I caught that."  
'You were meant to. It's not like you couldn't anyway, I mean, I am your subconcious after all.'  
"Don't remind me."  
'Too late! You're arguing with your subconcious! How fun for you!'  
"Shut up."  
'Ummm...no.'  
"I mean it! Leave me alone!"  
'What are you going to do? Stick your fingers in your ears? I'm in your head, you idiot. You're going to hear what I have to say, whether you like it or not!'  
"Stop it!" At that point you broke down crying. Today had been stressful enough, without arguing with yourself. You had decided that you were a mean little soul, and should, to the best of your abilities, be ignored. Goodness gracious, what would anybody else say when they asked you why you were crying!   
'You could start with, "I was arguing with myself" it might sound less crazy... nevermind, you are crazy.'  
You sniffled and muttered some curse words at your subconcious, telling it once again to shut up and leave you alone. You decided that rather than arguing with yourself, or giving your subconcious a chance to respond, you were going to get some food! You were positively starving!  
After around another 20 odd minutes to get the tears out, and allow yourself to return to your normal colouring, you changed yourself out of your armour, which quite honestly, you had forgotten you were wearing, into a green silk robe. It was chosen specifically to semi-match Loki, but subtly. The pale green fabric slightly hugged your slender figure, and the silver-gold ribbon creating it's empire waist would be perfect for creating a regal look, even if you weren't royal.   
Slipping on your favourite black flats, you began to head down the hall toward the kitchen. On the way, you walked past the library, and quickly stuck your head in. You always found it difficult to resist the never-ending rows and rows of leather-bound pages. The words would float around your head, enchanting you with every story you read. You began to step in and browse the extensive selection until your stomach made a growl that could put many wild animals to shame. You stepped out, mentally promising yourself to stop by after food.   
When you reached the kitchen, you took a deep breath of the aroma that would constantly float around the room. Smells of spices filled you, only adding to your hunger. Walking over to the pantries, you opened one of the door, quickly looking up and down the shelves in almost a frantic pace. Finding a loaf of bread, an apple, and some salted bilgesnipe, you slowly walked back to your room to enjoy the miniature feast that you had procured for yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again sorry! I know that this is a shorter chapter, but it's only the first half. If I posted them both together it wouldn't make any sense! I hope to come out with the next chapter soon. Again, sorry. :(


	5. Did That Really Just Happen? Part 2 (Loki POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry, this is a short chapter, but this story isn't meant to be in Loki's point of view. I thought we just needed a look inside Loki's thoughts.  
> The time stream for this one coincides with the last chapter, so while you're arguing with yourself, Loki's doing the same. Just not completely with himself.
> 
> WARNING: Contains some Loki fluff and super-feels! I nearly cried while writing this one.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Once the puff of smoke cleared, I sat down on my chair. The leather seat made a slight groan as I rested my full weight upon it.  
Had I really just done that? She was my best friend, the only one who had ever stuck by my side, as much as I deserved to be cast out for all eternity like the monster that I was.  
I reached up and cupped my own hand around my cheek, as if defending it. She would've struck me again for that comment if she were here, and I knew it.  
I could almost hear her voice speaking to me, scolding me as she had done the night before.  
"You are no monster, Loki! How dare you think of yourself like that!"  
The clarity of that statement in my head startled me, as I rarely have occurrences like that. Before I had realised what I had started by allowing that thought to come to me, I had begun to reply.  
"But I am! I am a frost giant! I was a child cast out by his own father on the streets of Jotunnheim!"  
"A frost giant is no monster Loki. They are their own, they find love and beauty in their own way just as the Aesir do!"  
"They are a barbaric culture! Only striving to kill and destroy!"  
"Who told you this? Who put these thoughts here? These did not come from you."  
"I learned them from childhood. Every Aesir knows of how the Jotunns came and nearly wiped out the nine realms, until the AllFather stopped them. The barbaric frost giants were sent back to their realm in shame."  
"Hmm, seems rather biased, don't you think?"  
"Wha- What do you mean?"  
"It sounds like you're only hearing one side of the story."  
"I don't understand."  
"No? You hear only what the Aesir believe to be true. Has it never occurred to you that the Jotunns might have a different story, a different remembrance of the same events?"  
" It- no. No, I never thought- But what if the Aesir are right?"  
"They are not, Loki. They wished to expand control, yes, but maybe not for the reasons you were told."  
"What is your point in telling me this?"  
"They are not monsters. Nor are you."  
"But... I am Loki. I was taken from the streets as an infant. Sought only as a bargaining chip between the two realms. I was never truly welcomed. He never truly wanted me. I- I am a peace treaty, only used for his game of politics."  
" No Loki! You are-" At this point I realised just what I was doing and I was going to finish this. This was childish. Arguing with myself as a child. If you had seen him then...no. You weren't going to invade my thoughts. Not this time. This was between me and that annoying thing in the back of my head. I was nearly in tears, my eyes brimming with wetness, burning as if aflame, constantly threatening to spill over at nearly any second. I began to yell, my voice cracking.  
"NO! You listen to me! I am Loki. God of mischief! Weaver of lies." My voice became significantly softer, nearly to the point of a whisper, as the tears finally spilt and raced down my face, cooling myself with their icy bite "I am neither of Asgard nor of Jotunnheim. I am Loki, and I am alone..."  
I sat in my chair, knees pulled to my chest. I had my hands grasping at my head, rocking back and forth, sobbing hard enough to shake my whole frame. I went on for what seemed like years, when I heard that voice again. This time it was softer, consolatory, and when it spoke it was soothing, temporarily subsiding the tears, if only for a second. It said what you had told me when I had fallen asleep. The transportation had awoken me, but only slightly, and I was too tired to move. But I had heard your words of solace, and took them to heart.  
"Good night, my raven prince. Sleep well and long, for as Heimdall is my witness, you will never be alone again."  
'Sleep well and long', almost nothing sounded like a better suggestion. If my eyes were aflame before, they were ashes now, and it hurt to open them and to see the light. So I kept them closed, and with a wave of my hand over my body, I had changed out of my armor and into my sleepwear. Stumbling over to my bed, I climbed in. With a snap of my fingers, the blankets pulled themselves to my shoulders. I grabbed them close, the tears resuming, and lay there listening to the memory of your singing until I succumbed to sleep.


	6. You Wonderful, Beautiful Idiot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, readers! This week we have a challenge, so don't skip the ending notes!
> 
> Enjoy the story!

It had been nearly two hours since you had finished eating, and you reminded yourself of your promised trip to that beautiful library. The never ending rows of books enticed you and they called your name. With a flick of your wrist your dishes vanished, and you sincerely hoped that they ended up in the kitchen and not elsewhere, as you were still perfecting the transportation spell on inanimate objects. Deciding to ignore it, you walked off in the direction of the grand library.

You often spent your time there during you childhood, reading book after book, and even though you had been doing so from the time you learned how, the room never seemed to run out. You walked down your favourite aisle, all the fictional stories lined up for the picking. It had been too long since you were here, often consuming yourself in your studies. Sticking to your preferred method of choice, you closed your eyes and grabbed a random book from the shelves. You opened your eyes, being very careful not to look at the book until you reached your customary sitting area. Positioning yourself in the cranny of the wall, cushioned by four or five pillows, you opened the book. It was an old text, from Midgard translated into your common tongue, so that the Aesir could read it easily.  
The title said The Hobbit, you weren't sure what a hobbit was, but you were about to find out. You took a deep breath and began to read.

In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.

It had a perfectly round door like a porthole, painted green, with a shiny yellow brass knob in the exact middle. The door opened on to a tube-shaped hall like a tunnel: a very comfortable tunnel without smoke, with panelled walls, and floors tiled and carpeted, provided with polished chairs, and lots and lots of pegs for hats and coats—the hobbit was fond of visitors.  
You paused and closed your eyes, imagining the door. With that much description you very well could. Was it necessary to put all that in there? It was a door. You could've very well imagined a door yourself. Nevermind the door, you wanted to read today, and read you shall.

You continued to read until you decided that you had had enough for today, and that it really was getting late into the afternoon. Dinner was soon after all and you needed to get ready. You stood, and rather than attempt transportation again, as you were getting tired from using your magic, you walked.  
After informing the keeper that you were taking the book with you, you headed for the exit. You kept you head low, so as no one would try to make contact with you. You didn't really want to talk, but rather be left alone with you thoughts. As a result you weren't looking where you were going.

"Excuse me, I'm sorry." You bent down to retrieve your book which had hit the ground. As you stood you heard a voice say,

"It is fine. I should have been more attentive." It was Loki, you hadn't wanted to talk to anybody, least of all him. It was funny really, him kissing you and all, and now bumping into him. It had to be awkward for him, just as much as this was for you. "Either way, I should be the one apologizing."  
Apologizing? For what? He had better not be apologizing for kissing you. But, you had learned, in this house it was best not to jump to conclusions, so you asked. 

"Why? What is there to apologize for, Loki?" When you said he name, he flinched, as if he was afraid that you were about to hurt him. So you asked again. "Why do you think that you should apologize to me?"

"For the kiss that I forced upon you. Your look of shock clearly said that you were not expecting, nor desired something of that nature from me." He paused, and there was a pang of guilt in your chest. He thought that you didn't want it. How mistaken was he. You couldn't come right out and tell him though. That could end rather poorly. But you train of thought was intercepted by a small mumble by the prince in front of you. "Of course, though, why would you..."  
His hung head told you that he was obviously hiding something from you, and you didn't appreciate it to say the least. But you had to tell him something, you couldn't just let him end the conversation with that last comment of his. You doubted that you were truly meant to hear it, but rather it was to himself. Somehow, he was going to learn that he was NOT a monster, and you were going to make sure of it.

"Loki? You were right. I didn't expect it. I wasn't expecting that at all." A small nod of his head let you know that he was listening, and that he thought that your comment affirmed every suspicion he had. But you weren't finished. "Come with me, Loki. We need to talk if you don't mind." He raised a curious eyebrow but complied with your wishes.  
You led him back to where you had been reading, away from where you two could attract wary eyes. You sighed deeply as you sat him down, sitting in the seat next to him afterwards. You leaned back on the arm of the chair at a diagonal angle so you could see him. You could tell the serious look on your face semi-scared him, and he leaned back as well, as if trying to guard himself. Hoping to let him relax you gave him a small half-smile as you said,

"When will you get it through your thick skull that you're not a monster?"

He stared at you confused, and you followed up your statement.

"I heard your little comment, 'Of course, though, why would you...' "  
He froze and his eyes grew wide with shock. You weren't supposed to hear that. 

"What in the world make you think that I don't like you? What is going on in that head of yours? I'm your best friend, you idiot!"

Finally he replied. "Because I'm..." he stopped to choose his words carefully. You knew that he was about to say a monster, and that he knew that doing so would anger you. That was not something to be desired. "...different."

"So?"

"I'm not Aesir, I'm not even a prince! I'm adopted. I don't belong here... why does everybody forget?!"

"Because we love you for you, Loki. What does it matter if you're different? I've known you your entire life! What does this 'new development' have to do with anything?! That's not going to change what I think about you."

"But-" You quickly shut him up by leaning forward and kissed him. He tensed up at first but then relaxed falling into the kiss. You laced your hands into his fine, black hair and pulled him forward. You had been wanting to kiss him for longer than you wanted to admit, and you secretly hoped that this would get it through his thick head that he was no monster and that you loved him. You had to teach him somehow.  
When you released he just stared at you in awestruck wonder, and you looked into his beautiful emerald eyes and said, "I love you wonderful, beautiful idiot, and don't you forget it."

A single silver tear ran down his face as he said, "I won't." And he kissed you again.

You thought that today could never go wrong, but unfortunately fate is never so kind. At that moment, while Loki passionately kissed you to heaven Thor found you two in a search for Loki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Hope you're enjoying the story! I thought we'd play a little game.
> 
> So, I've got two different ways that this story can go. But you guys have to vote! I'm not telling you what the two different versions are, just the colours that go with them!  
> Comment the colour you want to vote for, and, just how voting works, the one with the most becomes the story!
> 
> The two colours are.... * dramatic drumroll* ... Green or Black! 
> 
> You guys have 2 weeks to vote, and I'll see you then!
> 
>  
> 
> All Right! The 2 weeks are over and the results are in! And as being the only colour chosen, I think GREEN wins! I'll start writing the next chapter, and you'll see the results sometime in the near future when I'm finished!


	7. Idle Threats and Bear Hugs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! I just wanted to say that I am so sorry. I really meant for this chapter to come out sooner, but I got really busy. I know I left you guys with a little suspension, but I think you'll like the results!
> 
> Thanks for everyone who voted on the colours! I'm sure that was fun, but for the writer, that was hard. I don't think I'll be doing that again.
> 
> Thanks for the kudos and comments! Kudos and comments are love, and love equals surprises! I've got some fun stuff planned, so I hope you enjoy!

“What in the name of the AllFather are you doing?”  
You both jumped at the sudden interruption, and your face was suddenly heated from the crimson red all over you. You were sure it had to be there, you certainly felt it. You looked over at Loki, who for once, seemed to have nothing to say. Looking back at Thor, you expected a sudden flash of anger, which the prince was known for. Or at least the regular dueling between the two brothers. Oh, you hoped the two didn’t start that today, you don’t think that you could’ve stood it if they did.  
You began stammering, searching for any excuse.  
“Well, you see… we were. It’s not…I mean we were…but…”  
Thor began to laugh. You were completely baffled. You had assumed that he would be furious, what did he find so utterly hilarious? Loki began to try to explain. You were relieved, with his silver tongue, surely he could explain it all so much better than your childish half thoughts.  
“You see, brother, (y/n) and I were simply having a conversation. You happened to catch us as she was divulging a special secret that she did not wish for all to know. She trusted it with me and me alone.”  
Thor only laughed harder. “She trusted YOU, of all people. Truly (y/n), I don’t think you have made a wise choice.” Holding his stomach, the crown prince was nearly doubled over with laughter. His mockery of his brother angered you, and you stepped forward, your arms forced still at your side and your eyes narrowed. There was a venom laced in your voice, one that normally would not be found.  
“Yes, my prince.” You only used this title when you were irritated with one of the two, and it was a hint that the boys always caught. “I trust him. I would trust Loki with my life, just as I hope that I can trust you to never let this incident leave this room.”

“M’lady, was that a threat?” He looked at you with a face of amusement, although he understood what you were implying.  
“Yes, Thor, it was. Now leave us.” You jerked your head to the side and walked back to Loki, who had his trademark mischevious grin on his face. He understood that Thor did not buy his story, but he quite grasped the threat of your wrath as well.  
Thor’s incessant laugh seemed to slow, as he took a step towards you both. You looked at Loki and he at you. Your hand went to where your dagger would be, sure that you would have to defend yourself, but no dagger was there. Loki raised his hands, ready to cast whenever he needed. You tried another threat, but your voice betraying you. What was meant to sound threatening, sounded like a kitten’s meow.  
“I said leave us, Thor. Or must I turn you into a hamster again?”  
Thor said nothing, but raised him arms. You and Loki both flinched as Thor grabbed the two of you and pulled you into a bear hug. You groaned as you felt the very life force dripping away from you. Loki squirmed, yelling things to his brother as he tried to wiggle free.  
“Let us go, you big oaf!”  
“Can’t breathe…..”  
Thor began to laugh again and hugged tighter.  
“Congratulations brother! I never thought I would see the day when you, my brother, would find himself a worthy maiden! I wish you both much happiness!”  
He let you both go, and you fell to the floor, holding your ribs while regaining your breath. Loki recovered before you did, and responded to Thor.  
“What? Are you dull? Did you not think that I was capable of love?”  
You were quick to jump to action, whether you could breathe yet or not.  
“Loki. Calm down, I’m sure that’s not what he meant. Take it like it was meant and be happy. He approves. We don’t have to worry about him trying to separate us, he’ll help. I’m sure of it.” You put your hand on his arm and he visibly relaxed. Now you directed your attention back to Thor.  
“Thank you, we appreciate your acceptance. Loki and I have but one request, Thor.”  
“Anything, (y/n). Whatever you ask of me is yours.” His bright blue eyes sparkled with childlike happiness and pride, and you could help but smile.  
“Please, tell no one of today’s happenings. We wish for no one to learn about this until we are prepared to deal with them.”  
“As you wish. I shall tell none of today.”  
You watched as Thor walked off with a bounce in his step. Looking at Loki, you both understood each other’s message, for it was one and the same.  
‘We have to get ready for the palace to know. It will not stay secret for long, not while it lies in the hands of Thor.’  
You sighed as you spoke to him aloud.  
“We must have more faith in him, Loki. Surely he will keep to his word.”  
“I do not doubt that he will try. But he is a blundering oaf, and it will spill once someone asks.”  
“I do not worry for Sif and the Three. Nay, my worry lies in the AllFather, and Lady Frigga. How will they take to the news? Surely they couldn’t approve as Thor did. You are a prince and I am but a nobleman’s daughter.”  
“Indeed. We will have to come up with a plan that will throw them all for a curve.”  
“What did you have in mind, Loki?”  
“I am not sure yet. But I will have one in time.”  
You laughed, knowing that it was true. He would have a plan. It might not work, but it would be a plan.  
“Well, let us separate. After all…” You smirked at Loki as you leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “I have a wonderful book to get back to.”  
You picked the copy off of the table next to you and playfully hit his arm with it. “Besides, you have a plan to work on. I don’t think that even you could concentrate in here.”  
You laughed as you left Loki sitting in a chair thinking about what to do, while you were off to read in your room. Casting one last glance at Loki, you knew that everything was about to change. You just hoped that it would be for the better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now Thor knows about what going on! How do you think things are going to turn out? Loki's coming up with a plan, but will it work or will it backfire on the both of you? You'll have to wait to find out!
> 
> {I know, I'm evil. ;) }


	8. 20 Questions and a Secret Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! I wish that I could go so much faster than I am. I'm finally on summer break, but I'm constantly running to and fro. 
> 
> Thankfully my writers' block is gone, and after I figured out where I want to go after my contest, things should start picking up!
> 
> You'll get to meet Sif this chapter, and I'm sorry, she's not very close to the Sif you guys might know. I don't know Sif very well, but I've tried. Helpful criticism is appreciated!
> 
> Kudos and comments are pie, and pie equals love!

It had been nearly a week since the library, and you and Loki tried to avoid spending too much time together. Thor had managed to not tell anybody, but that wasn’t for the lack of trying. He was trying his best to keep it hidden, and keeping it he was, but he would almost let something slip before he reguarded himself. It was getting worse and he had said one or two things already, both in the presence of you and Loki. Thankfully, nobody was listening when he did. At least, not for now. Fate was rarely so kind, as you both knew well, and one day someone would be listening, and he would slip. 

You sighed nervously. Loki had informed you that he may have a plan, but he needed your consent. You were to meet him in the secret room where this all started after dinner, and the day couldn’t move fast enough. You were rather curious, but he wouldn’t tell you anything else about it. You were going to have to wait for tonight.

You preoccupied yourself for most of the day, avoiding the ability to think and wonder as much as possible. Between practicing with Sif and the Three and reading your book you took up much of the day. You were on your way back to your room to prepare yourself for dinner, and you knew you would have to be discreet in your seating choice. To immediately sit next to the prince would appear desperate, or suspicious, and would only be counter-productive to the plan. To not sit next to him would be out of character, you would have to find a careful balance. To act aloof and nonchalant without it appearing as an act. 

You were terrible at performing, and acting was not your forte. You much rather preferred open honesty, and a wave of guilt poured over you for your false front. Attempting to relieve your guilt, you told yourself that it was all necessary, and none of it would hurt anyone. You hoped that it wouldn’t anyway.  
Rushing out the door, you made it to the dining hall in time to converse with the others. You began to talk to Sif again, who had some interesting questions for you.

“So, (y/n), who is he?”

“Sif, I am afraid I do not understand. Who is who?”

“It is all very obvious. I’m not blind. Who is the man that has captured your attentions?”

Your heart began racing. She couldn’t really know. Was it that obvious? You opened your mouth as if to speak, and promptly closed it again. Your pursed your lips and began to laugh nervously.  
“I, uh, well…”

“Okay, okay. I suppose that was a bit blunt. I shall have to simpler questions. How’s that?”

“I guess that is better. But I will not answer any questions I don’t want to, and you can’t press it. Okay?”

“Alright, fair enough.” She replied with a shrug of her shoulders. “But you have to answer some of them. Okay. First question.” She hesitated for a second, thinking of something to ask. You bit your lip in anticipation.

“Is he Asgardian?” You laughed, thinking, ‘What an appropriate question. Answer carefully.”

“Sort of.”

Sif laughed. “What kind of an answer is sort of? Is he Asgardian or not?”

“Alright, no. He is not Asgardian, but he truly has the courage and heart of one.”

“Okay, do not get too complicated. Is he….tall?”

“Yes, he is definitely tall.” You said with a small giggle.

“How about his eyes?”

You sighed dreamily. “Like a mountain of perfect emeralds or fresh, lush grass after a storm. Full of hope and life.”

“And that means….what exactly?”

You faked a face of irritation in jest. “I answered your question.”

“I did not expect you to start talking in enigmas.”

“You did not specify how I was to answer your questions. I will answer your questions how I choose to, Sif.”

“Fine. So his eyes are full of “life and hope”. Can he fight?”

“Fight how?”

“Like a warrior. How else?” She laughed as if that was obvious, unfortunately, it was not.

“Um. He can fight. His methods are…unconventional. They are not how most men would fight.”

She looked at you suspiciously. “Is he a magic caster? Have you fallen for a sorcerer?”

Before you had the chance to answer, the dinner was prepared, and you were all to sit at the feasting table. You casually walked over to your normal side, and sat next to Loki, who smiled at you with a nod of his head. You smiled back and did the same. You ate dinner mostly in silence, until Loki caught your attention.

“(y/n), how are you today.”

“I am fine, Prince Loki. Thank you.” He looked at you with a brief look of puzzlement which was quickly cleared. You were obligated to address him formally in public, but it was foreign on your tongue, as well as on his ears. No, he was quite used to the title, but to hear from your voice pained him. He wished for you to be able to address him as a friend at all times, but you had told him that you both knew that you could not.  
He nodded in disappointment, and resumed his dinner. Once it was all finished, Sif attempted to strike back up conversation.

“We never finished, (y/n). So…” She was about to give you another question when you stopped her.

“I am terribly sorry, Sif. But I have an arrangement that needs to be taken care of.”

“What do you-”

“I am terribly sorry, but it is very important. I have to go.”

You nodded at Sif, then turned on your heel and left swiftly. You walked out of the dining hall, and turned into the corridor. You laughed to yourself thinking back to around two weeks ago where this all started. You had consoled Loki and helped him afterwards. And here you were again, walking towards the same room, in an attempt to save the small romance that had blossomed between the two of you.  
When you reached the door you looked behind you to insure that no one was watching before you opened up the door. When you were sure that no one was there, you flicked your wrist and opened the door. The door once again closed behind you after you had stepped through.

You gasped when you looked around the small room. It was elegantly lit, and the once completely wooden room and saw that it was now painted to match Loki’s royal colours. You laughed as you sat on a fluffy green pillow that was on the floor.

“Did you do this, Loki?”   
He looked at you with a proud look on his face.  
“I’m assuming that means yes.” You scooted over to him and kissed his cheek. “It looks great, alskling. So, what’s the amazing plan you’ve come up with?”

His proud look diminished and he pulled himself away. You looked at him hurt.   
“Suetyng, what’s wrong?”

He just stood and walked away from you. It wasn’t as if he could get far in the small room, but it was still a greater distance than you desired. You would’ve walked back over to him, but you didn’t want him teleporting away, so you just sat there. You assumed that it had something to do with his plan, but you didn’t know what why he was acting this way about it.  
After a minute or two of uncomfortable silence, you slowly stood. Looking over at Loki, you realized that he was crying. It wasn’t something he did often, and you felt as if a part of you died when he did. You rushed over to his side, abandoning your previous logic to emotion. 

You hadn’t hoped to repeat your previous encounter with Loki tonight, but it seemed that it was going to happen nevertheless. Thankfully, it would be without all of “monster” drama. Or so you had thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, can any of you figure out what Loki's plan is?
> 
> To my readers who happen to enjoy Sherlock, I have started a Sherlock fic as well. It only has a single chapter for now, but I have more planned!


	9. I Thought We Discussed This?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Thanks for reading! Sorry if this chapter is a little cheesy, but it was needed. 
> 
> Hope you're enjoying the story!
> 
> For anyone who doesn't know, "suetyng" and "alskling" mean "sweet one" and "darling". The more you know!
> 
> Remember, comments and kudos are pie, and pie equals love!

You reached out your arm to pull Loki in close, and when you grabbed his shoulder he pulled away again.

“Loki, alskling, please.”

Rather than trying to pull him to you again, you held on to him from where he was. You put your arms around his waist from behind, and laid your head on his shoulder. He began to squirm, and you loosened your grip so he could turn around. 

Loki grabbed you tight, taking fistfuls on your dress in his hands. His whole body violently shook as he openly sobbed into your shoulder. He went limp, and you struggled to keep him up. You slowly sank to the floor and you were glad once you finally reached it.

Your heart ached and you wanted nothing more than for him to be happy again. You let go of his waist and positioned yourself and Loki into a more comfortable sitting arrangement. You held his back with your left arm, and began to stroke his hair with the right. As you slid your fingers through his soft, raven hair, you began to sing the familiar lullaby that you had sung the first time.  
You had reached the second verse, but you realised that it wasn’t helping at all, rather his sobs had escalated. You froze. You had no clue what to do now, and he was worrying you. You spoke softly to him, offering words of solace.

“It’s alright, suetyng, you’re okay.”  
He shook his head, and you sighed.

“Yes you are. I promise. Everything’s fine. You’re safe, suetyng. I’m safe, and you have a plan. Remember? Everything is going to be perfect.”

He jerked away from you, hot, angry tears, streaming down his face. He screamed at you, “NO! NO IT’S NOT! IT’S NOT PERFECT, AND IT’S NOT FINE!” He collapsed back into the floor, sobbing into his hands. He was mumbling to himself, but you could faintly hear the words. “I’m a monster. How could I think of this plan otherwise? I’m a monster and not worth her love. Why does she love me… why does she torture herself… she deserves more than a monster playing at royalty…”

A tear ran down your face. You thought that he was done with this. You thought that you had finished this issue. You could feel the anger bubbling inside of you, mixed with the pain of his statements. It was too much, something had to be appeased. You stood up and stepped over to Loki. You glared at him from behind at smacked the back of his head. 

“Now you QUIT that!”  
He jumped and whirled his head, shock splayed across his features, around to see your face, angry, but full of sadness.  
“Why do you still do this yourself? I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again.” You grabbed his shoulders and shook him. “You are not a MONSTER!” He was about to argue, but you reacted and smacked his face. “No, Loki. You are NOT!”

Your voice lost its sharp bite of anger, and it was full of pain. You sat back down with him, and pulled him to you. You held his shoulders and slightly shook them as you spoke.  
“I love you, Loki. I really do. I’m not torturing myself by loving you. I do it willingly, because you do deserve it. You deserve every bit of it and so much more. Why can’t you see that? I love you, alskling. And I don’t fall in love with monsters. What must I do to convince you that you are no monster?”  
He shook his head, and looked at you, speaking in a strained tone through sobs. “There is nothing you can do. Whether I wish for it or not, it is there. It will always be there.”  
You sighed and kissed his forehead, laying his head in your arms, cradling him once again. You began to sing, attempting the familiar old lullaby again, effectively calming the both of you this round.

Lay down your head and I'll sing you a lullaby.  
Back to the years of loo-li-lai-lay  
And I'll sing you to sleep, and I'll sing you tomorrow  
Bless you with love for the road that you go.

You stroked his hair, finding comfort in allowing him to rest in your arms. While continuing to sing, you mirrored your actions from the previous. You rocked him back and forth, and finished the song. After it was over you kissed his forehead once again, and let him rest.  
There was a gentle smile across his face, and you knew he had not been so much at peace than now in years. It was calming, and beautiful. You returned the smile, although you knew he could not see it, and never before had you felt such overwhelming emotion for the prince than now.  
You soon fell asleep next to Loki, him holding on to your waist, and you slept till morn.  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
When morning arose, you both awoke. Realising what had happened, you both separated swiftly. After taking a minute or two to wake up, you realised what the court would think if they found you walking out of this room together. You addressed the issue with Loki.

“Alskling?”

“Hmm?”

“You are aware that we can’t just walk out of this room, right?”

“Of course.”

“ What do you propose we do?”

He thought for a second until he came up with something.  
“We could always teleport.”

“I can try. Are you awake enough for it?”

“I think so.” 

So you concentrated and cast the spell, opening your eyes in your bedroom. Right after you appeared and got your bearings, a servant had come in with fruit, bread and milk for breakfast. You grinned and laughed.

“Perfect timing, I am famished.” You took the tray from her, and picked up a small apple. Handing it to her, you said, “Here, eat something. You look hungry too.”  
She nodded and thanked you as she walked out of the door. You sat down and your table and enjoyed your breakfast, relaxing in your chair.

As you ate, you began to think, mumbling to yourself between bites of food.  
“What was wrong with Loki? He refused to talk about the very thing we went back there to discuss. What could be so terribly bad with his plan that he couldn’t say it?”  
You paused in the middle of your bite, suddenly remembering what he said.  
Monster! He had a monster relapse of sorts. Whatever Loki thought of was that terrible. What plan could be so bad that Loki couldn’t even think about it? Surely nothing could be that bad for your raven prince. Could it?


	10. Don't Make Bets You Can't Win

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SOOO sorry my lovely readers! I went a month without internet, and couldn't post anything. Plus, I had problems trying to figure out what to do here. I hope you all aren't to upset with me, but here is the new chapter.
> 
> Kudos and comments equal love, and love equals PIE!!!!
> 
> Love you all!

You left your room after breakfast to head to the training arena. Hopefully you could train a bit without getting noticed.  
When you reached the arena, you grabbed a wooden training sword and begun to beat on a poor defenseless straw dummy. Parries, thrusts, and stabs went around, through, and off of the training toy until your arms were ready to fall off of your body. You were about to go back to your room, until a laughing voice stopped you in your tracks.  
“Surely, you’re not about to leave now that I’ve finally joined you?”  
You laughed and ran towards the voice. Giving the man a hug, you said, “Fandral! It has been too long friend. Have you come to train, or to talk like a pansy?”  
He held a hand to his chest, and feigned offense. “I am deeply hurt, (y/n). I, your long friend, challenged like an incompetent stable boy.”  
In response you playfully punched his arm. “Come on. I just finished training for today. Surely you’re more awake and ready than I am, Fandral.”  
“I might be able to do a round or two, m’lady. Shall we dance?”  
You laughed and tossed him a training sword. “Come on. Maybe if you win, there’ll be a round of mead on me.”  
“Now that’s an offer I simply can’t refuse.”

You both sparred until you couldn’t stand anymore, and as you were already tired, Fandral lasted much longer than you did. Which meant that, of course, he won. With a twist of his sword, he knocked it out of your hand, and it flew across the arena, placing itself firmly in the ground. While you were stunned, he took advantage of you, and had his training sword at your chest. You raised your hands in defeat, and got on your knees, as the sword raised to your throat. In a strained voice you began to speak.  
“Alright, alright, Fandral! You have me, you won!”  
He lowered his sword, and let it fall to the ground. He helped you stand up, and you gladly accepted the help.  
“Allow me to retire to my room to clean up,” You looked down at your dress in disgust. “And then I believe a trip to the tavern is in order.”  
He laughed heartily, “I await your return, m’lady.”  
“I will see you soon, Fandral.”

When you reached your room you put on a simple green and blue dress. It was comfortable, and one of your favourites.  
You washed your face, and let down your hair. You put on a necklace that Loki had given you, and walked out into the hall to find Fandral dressed in the same outfit he trained in. You laughed.  
“Honestly Fandral. You’re fancy enough to attend the royal banquet.”  
He attempted a courtesy, and failed, still managing to look graceful while tripping over his feet. He stood and said, “Thank you m’lady.”  
“Let us go. I think a round of mead will do you well.”  
“I agree.”

Upon arriving at the tavern, you both sit down in a booth. A waitress comes up to you both and asks what the man and his lady would like this evening. Your face burns, and you feel your cheeks go crimson.  
“I am not his date.”  
“Right… anyway. What do you two want?”  
“A round of your finest mead on me.”  
“Not a very good partner, making the lady pay. I’ll be back with the mead, m’lady.”  
As she walked off, you called out, “I am not his date!”  
You huffed and your head fell in your hands.   
“Why can’t two friends just go out together…”  
“I don’t know. But just ignore her. She’s not worth worrying over anyway.”  
You picked up your head out of your hands.  
“Yeah, let’s just enjoy!”  
As the mead arrived, you paid the lady, and you grabbed your mug.  
“A toast, Fandral. To old friends.”  
“To old friends!”  
You both raised your glasses and then took a gulp of the liquid. It was sweet like honey, and slightly bitter at the same time. You smiled and took another sip. You laughed and talked for what seemed like forever, until you were tired.  
Seven rounds of mead, and 3 hours later you both stumbled back into the palace where you said goodbye to Fandral and retreated into your room.

You were laughing over nothing, and began talking to the pictures on your wall. You stumbled and fell on the ground. You laughed at that too.  
Your voice was slurred and you were lightheaded and ditzy.  
“You’ve met your match, wall. You’re going to be sorry you exist.”  
You gave it a weak punch, and you knocked yourself backwards and into a chair. You sat there for a minute, laughing like an idiot when you hear a knock at your bedroom door.  
“Come in. Come in. Always nice to have guests.”  
The door opened and Loki walked in.  
“(Y/N)? Are you okay? You don’t sound well.”  
“I’m perfectly fine. Why’da ask?” Your head swirled around and you nodded off to sleep and woke back up.  
Loki just stared at you with an amused expression on his face. He picked you up, and carried you to your bed. He knew you were drunk. It’s something he’d never seen, or expected from you before. He gave a small laugh.  
“You need to sleep, suetyng.”  
“But I’m fine. I really am. I just had a few drinks at the tavern with Fandral.”  
“Did he beat you in sparring again?”   
“Yuh-huh.”  
“Go to sleep. You’ll feel better tomorrow.”  
“I’m fine. Honest.” You held your head and groaned.  
“You are as drunk as Thor on his birthday. Go. To. Sleep.”  
“Fine. Fine. Don’t wanna make you angry. Love you, Loki. See you tomorrow morning, or afternoon, or whenever I wake up.” You laughed giddily at your own stupid comment.  
Loki rolled his eyes and kissed your forehead, laughing again, while silently praying you don’t do this again. What happened to the intelligent maiden who could once challenge his knowledge? He’d need to have a serious talk with Fandral once he was sober, if he’d ever be sober.  
“Goodnight, alskling.”  
He waved his hand over you, changing your sweaty dirty clothes, to fresh night clothes faster than he could blink. He laid you down and tucked you into bed, silently slipping out of the room as you fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never been drunk before, nor have I been around someone who is drunk, so this is purely my imagination of what it could be like. If anyone has any criticism or helpful hints on how to write this, I would love to hear it!
> 
> Hopefully my next chapter will out faster than this one!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! New chapter again! 
> 
> Disclaimer: The Hobbit doesn't belong to me. That belongs to the amazing J.R.R. Tolkien.
> 
> That being said, let the reading commence!
> 
> Remember kudos and comments equals love and love equals pie!

When you awoke quite late the next morning, you lifted your head off of the pillow and attempted to sit up. You were faced with sudden vertigo and promptly fell back on your bed, hitting the back of your head on the headrest of your bed, and giving yourself more of a headache than you already did. You groaned and rubbed your eyes.  
When you actually opened your eyes, it was similar to the previous experience with you head. The light burned in your eyes, which shut themselves instinctively.  
Slowly taking your time, you worked yourself up to a sitting position, and it was another few minutes before your eyes could open again. Even then it was not without difficulty.   
You had to stop and think, which was challenging, given the state you were in. You held your head to keep the room from spinning as you attempted to remember the previous day.  
I was in the Arena…with Fandral? I think it was Fandral. He took me somewhere…If Fandral took me anywhere it would be the tavern…crap! I got drunk? How did I even make it back here any- Loki. 

You fell back on your bed, and buried your face in your hands. You didn’t even care that you would have to sit up again, you were completely embarrassed. You began to mumble to yourself through your hands.  
“Great. Just great. He was supposed to actually tell me whatever his grand plan was last night, and I was so completely drunk, he probably had to put me to bed like a small child.”

Just then a door creaked open and you squeaked and sat up quickly, holding your head directly after to keep the room from going in circles. You answered quietly.

“Yes? Come in.”

The young servant girl who had brought you breakfast just a few day before came through the door with food once again, and a few leaves in a pot of water. It didn’t look like tea, so it had to be something to cure your hangover.

“Thank you. But how did you?”

She looked at her feet and spoke to where you couldn’t understand.  
“Please child, I can’t hear you. How did you know?”

She gave a small sigh.  
“Prince Loki told what had happened and said that you may need this. How he was aware of your condition, I do not know, mi’lady.”

“Thank you again.” You handed her a small apple from the tray. She nodded in appreciation and walked off, leaving you to eat your breakfast. 

After you had consumed your fill, and had a cup of whatever the liquid was, you walked picked up a small rag and immersed it in the now cool water. Rubbing it over your face, you were refreshed and awakened, and whatever medicine was in the brew slowly began to work its magic as your headache slowly but surely left.

As far as you could remember, you had nothing really planned for today, so you changed your nightgown into a sleek black dress that reached your ankles with silver trimming. You slipped into a pair of comfortable black flats which was one of your pieces of clothing that didn’t change appearance multiple times a day. You walked out of the door and walked over to the library to resume your book.  
You half-heartedly hoped that you would be able to avoid Loki. Although you would like to hear what his idea was, you dreaded having to explain to him as to why you were drunk, if he hadn’t coaxed it out of you the night before.

You reached the small area that had your cranny in the wall and grabbed your book. When you arrived at your cranny, you found it was already occupied. Of course…

“(Y/n).”

You nodded your head and smiled. “Loki. Thanks for breakfast this morning.”

“You are welcome. What are you reading?”

“It’s a Midgardian book called “The Hobbit. It’s quite good.”

“Interesting.”

“What are you reading?”

“Studying seidr.”

“Ahh…”

“I was never able to discuss my plan with you.”

 

“Right. Do you think that we could actually do it this time?”  
He looked down, as if he was embarrassed.

“I think that I could discuss it this round.”

“Alright.” You set your book down. “I can read this later.” There was a few minutes of awkward silence.

“Do you want to talk about it here or in the room?”

“Why don’t we go to the room, just in case…”

Loki flicked his hand and he disappeared. You quickly followed suit. Thanks the gods you were finally getting a hang of that spell.  
You found Loki reclined on some of the pillows against the wall. You laughed, as the room was still decorated to match Loki, with a few small seidr lights illuminating the room.  
You sat down next to him and took his hand.  
“So, suetyng, what’s the plan?”

He took a deep breath.  
“I could only think of one thing, unfortunately, although I wish I come up with anything else, and I’m hoping this will work.”

“Okay…but what is it? Surely it can’t be that bad, Loki.”

“If and when, Odin finds out, he will most likely summon me to his throne room. When he does summon me, he will ask me what my business was with you, whether it be a pass time, or to take you. If I say I love you, he will not believe me, for they all believe I am incapable of love.”

You sat there listening to him. It was all plain facts. They were unfortunately true, but there was little that could be done to change it.  
“What is my part in this?”

“When they summon me, they will come and take me by force. When they do, follow them. But keep your distance so they do not know you are there. Hide in the shadows while the AllFather and I talk. You will be there to listen.”

“What will you say when he asks your intent?”

“He will not be pleased with my decision, and consider you a threat. If I say that I love you, he will wish to banish you from the palace so you are no longer a distraction. So I will claim to have nothing with you. I will claim that you are nothing more than a silly girl I am using to fulfill my desires.”  
Your eyes shot open with shock, and your hands flew to cover your mouth. It hurt to hear the words, as necessary as they were.  
“I believe you, but I-”

“Then you understand my predicament. I am the one forced to say those words. You are only cursed to hear them.”

"Yes...I do. Is there anything else?"

"When I am finished, you will step out of the shadows and strike me."

"You want me to hit you?"

"Yes. You will strike my across the face, and then any extra is up to you. The more theatrical, the better. Until we are clear, treat the words as if they were true."

You both sat there quietly. You thought over the plan as he just stared at he ground.

“I agree.”

“You agree to what, love?”

“To the plan. I agree.”

You both sat there watching the seidr flames flickering, just basking in each others company. Loki was the one to break the silence.  
“So, how far are you in your book?”

“Chapter three. Why?”

“Do you mind starting from the beginning?”

“Not at all.”

He snapped his fingers and the book landed in your lap.  
“Shall we?”

“Indeed.”

You opened it up, and in the warmth of the room, and the comfort of your raven prince, you began the book again.

“In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.  
It had a perfectly round door like a porthole, painted green, with a shiny yellow brass knob in the exact middle. The door opened on to a tube-shaped hall like a tunnel: a very comfortable tunnel without smoke, with paneled walls, and floors tiled and carpeted, provided with polished chairs, and lots and lots of pegs for hats and coats—the hobbit was fond of visitors.”


	12. How has it been?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my lovelies. I'm so sorry, but as usual, this short chapter didn't come very easily. I've been majorly preoccupied with my one shots, which I'm glad many of you have been enjoying.
> 
> I wish I'd be able to post more to this story more often than I do, but I can only write as it comes to me.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the new chapter, and I look forward to hearing your feedback.
> 
> Kudos and comments equal pie and pie equals love!

The next several days went without event, you relaxed, and read the book with Loki when you could, and you hoped that things could stay like this for a while longer. The peace was a nice change from the hectic life that you normally led, although there was the minor stress of keeping appearances. But you were quite used to that, so it was nothing out of the ordinary. 

You woke up late on a weekend morning, the young servant girl who attended you allowing you to wake to the smell of a hot breakfast.

A slight breeze came through your window, and the cool air brushed over your bare arms as you pulled the blanket farther up, and ate.  
As you normally did, you handed the young servant girl a small piece of food from your plate out of compassion for her, as she never appeared to be fed very well.

Finishing your breakfast, the rest of your morning went lazily before finally coming out. You were off to the training area, where you meant to train your skills for a while, before having a lunch with the court as usual. You assumed Thor, your only confidant in your secret relationship with his brother, would find you there, and you prepared accordingly. You knew that he approved, although he approved slightly too much, and would quickly yell it out if you were not there to impede him.

Walking through the doorway, it was surprisingly empty, and you drew out your blade, suspicious. It could be a trap, you never knew here, as it was not the safest of places.  
All seemed to be well, however, and without dropping your guard, you proceeded to where you normally tested your skills.

It was a good hour before more graced the area, the first being the Warriors Three and Sif, not long followed by Thor and Loki. Sif took her place beside you, and drew her sword.

"(Y/n). Think you be able to best me today?"

"I have rarely failed to do so, my friend."

"Not easily."

"Never. What fun would that provide me?"

"Then are you up for the challenge?"

"Of course."

Your small crowd watched as you and Sif sparred each other. Dually matched, it was often hard to gain an advantage. After a fair contest, she managed to disarm you, throwing your sword across the floor, narrowly missing Volstagg's feet. He looked down warily, and Thor and Fandral burst into hearty laughter, Sif chuckling along with them.  
You looked up at Sif from the ground and smiled.

"You bested me. How long has it been since that has been the case?"

"Longer than I would have liked." She helped you up. "You are getting rusty."

Hogan smirked. "It's all that time in the library."

"You've been filling your mind with stories of battles, when you could be getting the reality!" Thor supplied.

"It has been a while since we've been on an adventure..." Fandral slyly suggested, seeming to be reminiscing, but you and Loki caught the attempt, which went unnoticed by the rest of the crew. Thor hefted his weapon in the air.

"This is a wonderful idea! We shall go on an adventure! How long has been since we've traveled between realms?"

Loki answered quietly from Thor's side, coyly smiling. "A year, four months, and 13 days."

"Then you have been keeping track."

"Always, my brother."

"(Y/N)! Where should we travel?"

"And why should I choose, and not Sif, as it was her victory?"

"Oh, but it was your failure, friend. No sense in having me choose. Putting you to the ground was reward enough."

You rolled your eyes and stuck out your tongue briefly.  
"Alright then. Where to travel to?"

You thought through the realms. Your home Asgard, would be no travel, and the realm of Midgard would have nothing for you to adequately hunt. Jotunheim housed the frost giants, which would only serve as a painful reminder to Loki, and wished not to have to deal with his self-hatred when you returned. He seemed to finally be past it all, and to relapse now would be extremely unfortunate.  
This left the realms of Niflheim, which would be off-limits, as it housed the dead. Vanaheim was peaceful, and would be a boring trip. Nidavellir was home of the dwarves, the craftsman, that largely took place underground, and would be as much entertainment as Vanaheim.

There was only two left, Alfheim, home of the light elves, which was forest land, and would have plenty wild creatures for you to bring down, or Muspelheim, home of the fire giants and demons, counterpart of the frost giants, and a worthy trial.

"Shall we go to Muspelheim? The giants there shall provide a worthy and glorious battle."

There was a flash of concern in Loki's face, and you smiled at him and nodded. A frost giant in the realm of fire could be dangerous, but you were confidant all would be fine.

"TO MUSPELHEIM!" Thor lifted his hammer, and a cheer rose from you and your companions. The adventure awaited you with a face of excitement and a small fear of the danger. It thrilled you to the core, and you were ready to leave.

Thor, the Warriors Three, and Sif had left to prepare, leaving you and Loki in the Arena alone. He walked over to you, placing a hand on your shoulder.  
"Is this wise? The realm of the fire giants might not be a good match for, well..."

"I thought it through, Loki. Though fire and ice do not match, it is better than storming to Jotunheim."

"Agreed, but is Muspelheim not one of the most dangerous realms?"

"Indeed, suetyng. Where is your sense of adventure? We haven't gone on one in such a time."

"You are nearly as bad as Thor." You looked at him with a fake look of offence and playfully slapped his arm.

"You take that back."

"Never, my dear."

"I have actually thought this through. I am not rushing into battle!"

"Of course not." He flicked his hand dismissively. 

You sighed and shook your head. You weren't going to win, so you decided to laugh instead, and follow him out. You had to prepare as well, so there was no sense in staying around.  
Out in the corridor, you caught up to Loki, and grabbed his shoulder, stopping him briefly, a moment's concern grabbing at you.

"If you honestly wish not to go..."

He gave a small smile. "All will be fine. If you have thought this through as you say you have, then all shall be well. I have every confidence in you, my dear."  
He kissed your cheek, then walked away, your cheeks burning with the compliment. He honestly trusted you, and you hoped that you were right.  
But for now, you went to your room to prepare for the quest. Your sword thirsted for blood, and you planned to fulfill it's desire.


End file.
